From the beginning...

From the beginning of my life, i have always felt submissive and inferior to Females.  i can remember as far back as 3 years of age and some of the thoughts that would go through my head in certain situations.  One of the first was my Mother had a Friend who had a little boy my exact age.  he was rowdy and disobediant and She would spank him, yell at him and threaten him with some outrageous punishments that would have the proper authorities arrest Her in this day and age.  i was always witness to this.  i couldn't understand why he would not just obey Her and please Her.  She was his Mother, She was his Superior and it was his place to honor Her and obey Her.  Although Her parenting skills would be gasped at today, i would witness this and think that it was what he deserved.  Sometimes, even though i behaved, since i was with him during his shenaegins, i would be threatened with punishment too. "Don't let me catch you acting this way or i'll beat your ass" woud be said sometimes and you would think this would put fear into a child... but it didn't.  Even at that young age i would think that probably i deserved much of the same... in fact i wanted it, but didn't want to disobey any orders or "act up" to get it.  Did i make mistakes?  Of course i did and i would be punished much the same... and it felt right.  i always knew i deserved such and i wanted it so.

Later, when i was old enough to go out and play it turned out i lived in a neighborhood full of little girls.  Oh there were a few other boys, but the neighborhood was literally dominated by girls.  They would play with us boys in boy like games, "cops and robbers" and such, and i would always allow myself to be captured and incareracted by the girls in the backyard fort.  it would pain me to have to pretend to not want to get caught with the other boys when from the start, i wanted to surrender and accept my fate at their hands.  When i would be placed into the fort with a guardess watching me, i would feel just right and honestly i would think it would be cool to live like this.  To be a captive of a Woman.

Obviously, as a child, one doesn't undertand that they have a slave mentality, an inferior male mentality, but rather they just don't think its strange.  It takes getting older, going through puberity and stumbling onto TV, Movies and Publications that expose one to such.  This is where my understanding of who i was on the inside started it's realization.  i will expand on that in my next post.  i have been instructed by a Superior Woman to make 4 posts covering my evolution as a slave male.  This was part one.  Hopefully i won't get any BS from anyone over who i am.